Tag Archives: exes

Build Your Village

By: Mia L. Hazlett

“I’m a strong independent black woman. I don’t need a man.” I spouted this ignorance to create a portrait of I’m not sure what, so many times. Not only am I unsure of my reasoning, but I honestly feel it was so others would think I had my shit together, when I didn’t. But I’ve come to discover, bravado is wonderful in the absence of humility.

I say this because it was a lie. At my weakest, I became dependent. I am not gay and want to be in a relationship, so therefore to do that I need a man. The funniest part about that saying, I’ve heard it said by tons of women, who are either in a relationship with a man or hunting for a man to be in a relationship with. Continue reading Build Your Village

Advertisements

With the Past Behind

By: Mia L. Hazlett
4/3/13

Let go. Let go. Let go. Let God. Let God. Let God.

You want to know who I am? I am the daughter of God, who was filled with a heart’s passion to write and be an exceptional mother. I am an educated professional who supports her family on a single income, but I am not a single mother. I am a dreamer to some, but not to myself. How is it a dream if I made it come true? https://www.createspace.com/3747445 Yes. I made my dream come true. I wanted to write and publish a book. I wrote and published a book.

My book came from letting go of my past. What you’ve just read about who I am, was not how I always felt about myself. I had to give up everything to be in my present mindset. I left a horrendous employer. I separated from my husband. I moved out of our apartment. In all of these endeavors of finality, I brought along with me my two daughters.

I realized my life had come down to keys and a title. I no longer had house keys. I no longer had keys to an office. Above all, I had turned in a job title and marital status. I was a grown woman with no job, no home of my own, and now checked separated, instead of married. I held the key to my car and the title of mother. I was at the point, where I had to let go of my past and have faith in my future. I had to let go and let God take control. I did.

Presently – there has been almost complete restoration. I’m living in a beautiful new home. I have a wonderful job. I bought a new car. So yeah, you figured it out, I’ve remained single throughout this all. I’ve dated, but my heart and mind are not ready.

As I finally come up on my divorce, I realize I had to let go of my past relationships, so that God may bring new in this area of my life. I’ve had to say good-bye to the bad and the good. I’ve learned many things about myself from all of them, but to move on, I’ve had to close the door. That’s right, I’m finally at a point in my life, where I close the door, instead of letting God do it for me. I am so thankful that I let go and let God.

To The Gentleman

By: Mia L. Hazlett
3/21/13

Dear Gentleman,

Our time existed when love carried no baggage. It carried no regrets. It carried no past. It carried no drama. It simply existed.

You were a gentleman at the young age of 15 and I didn’t even know it. It’s my innocence lost, which sends me back to the time long before my heart wore scars. It was a time when my heart had no limits. You see we had a friendship in the midst of our relationship. Like existed over love.

It was a time when sitting on the couch in your parent’s house was the best Friday night. It was a time when holding hands defined that a relationship existed. It was a time when certain acts were equated to baseball. It was our time of innocence.

From time to time, you would come to mind. Drift into my thoughts as Facebook came about. With your name so common, it was an impossible search, or maybe you never had an account. I found those who I thought would have kept in contact with you, but never asked about you. I sat one day scrolling through the impersonal technology, and saw your true friend/brother from another mother, missing you.

I thought you must have moved out of state. I hunted for the details only to find, you were gone. God brought you home to be with Him. So it is with this letter that I say good-bye, but most of all thank you. Thank you for being kind. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for having character. Thank you for embracing integrity. Thank you for my innocence. Thank you for the life-long lesson of like over love. Most of all, from the bottom of my heart; thank you for being a gentleman.

With sincere gratitude,

Mia

To My Exes

By: Mia L. Hazlett
3/19/13

Hello My Exes:

It took many relationships, two marriages, and almost 40 years to design this extraordinary virtuous woman. I must thank all of you. Although I could never see past my pain so long ago and not so long ago, God sent each of you in my life and took you all away, to design me to become who I am today.

My entire existence within my relationships existed to find what I wanted, rather than leaving what I didn’t like. I held within me the hope to change that which I found imperfect. I know now it had nothing to do with your inability to make me happy, but my lack of being good enough for myself. I spent so much time comparing myself to all the women that slipped in and out of the relationships that eluded the single trait of faithfulness, rather than walking away and coming to the resolution you weren’t good enough for me.

Being Christian came late in the game, but I was raised by two people that taught me right from wrong and how to treat people respectfully. Finally I’m at the point in my life where I realize, if it looks like shit, smells like shit, it’s probably full of shit too. There’s something attached to this little realization also, it will probably treat you like shit too.

You see when you lie to obtain what you want, that’s not treating someone with respect or walking with integrity. It’s being manipulative and conniving and it plays with people’s feelings and emotions. In other words, you are treating them like shit.

Where I must accept blame, is sticking around and accepting the shit. What the hell did I think I could change by staying? Why did I have so much faith in shit relationships? Because I had to become an expert at recognizing bullshitters. I have two little girls to raise and I’m happy to say, I can smell bullshit from a mile away.

This isn’t a bashing, but a thank you. I’m happy about everything I’ve experienced. Although the relationships ended, I’m a better person because all of you have been in my life. You all changed me in a way that my expectations will never be in danger of being compromised again. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Mia