Tag Archives: Change

The Other Side

Mia LNature_Mountains_Snow-capped_mountains_on_the_horizon_030168_. Hazlett

After 7 years of separation and battling the courts for a simple court date, my storm ended last week.  While our eighteen year relationship will continue, our twelve year marriage came to an end.

Throughout the years of our separation it has been a constant emotional storm for me.  I’m not the person who stays friends with the ex.  It’s not who I am.  If we’re over, we’re over.  I have enough friends in my life; I don’t need to start adding exes to that list.

But this guy.  I’m stuck with this guy.  We have two beautiful daughters together and every Sunday for a few hours, he shows up.  For birthday parties and Christmas, he’s there.  That’s how co-parenting works.  That’s how the love for our children works.  And we do love our children.  Because we love them, we even attempted reconciliation for a few months here and there. But I realized I had moved on in my life.  God was moving me forwards, not backwards.

The misconception that many people have is that divorce is easy.  It’s not.  Even though we’ve had years of separation, we’ve also been a part of each others’ lives for almost two decades.  I get it; there are a massive amount of couples who have to have a strict court order in able to function through the parenting aspect of the relationship.

We didn’t want a court to dictate the relationship with our children or with each other for that matter.  We sat next to each other laughing and joking in the courtroom. We battled emotions and discussed not going through with it, but I thought God finally put me here after 7 years.  We stood outside for an hour after being evacuated for a bomb scare.  We both shared the same feeling, “maybe this is a sign.”

It wasn’t.  We returned to the courtroom and our 12 years ended in less than 10 minutes.  It was heartbreaking, and I allowed my heart to break for a week.  But then I shut down the pity party and began making plans for THE OTHER SIDE.

© 2016 Mia L. Hazlett

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Achieving Your Destiny – V

Achieving Your Destiny- Part V
By: Mia L. Hazlett
3/10/15

Step IV – Silence

I know when you are working towards your destiny it’s exciting. At least for me it was. If someone got me talking about my book, I would go on and on. The thing was, we weren’t on the same path. At the time I wrote my book, I was unemployed and living (at the beginning of the book, in Texas at my friend’s and then at my parents’ house.) Trust me when I say times were beyond stressful and difficult, but writing was my peace in the torrential hurricane which was my life.

But even though I was so excited about my book, no one else was. I had this little bit of light in my dark tunnel, but everyone had shaped out my priorities for me. As if getting a job and finding my own place for me and my daughters wasn’t a priority. So because of what others had to say about me and my dream, I quit on my dream for a while. I conformed to the little box they lived their lives in and became more miserable.

But a passionate desire to fulfill my destiny could not be stopped. I continued to write my book. This time I did it silently. It was nobody’s business how I made myself happy. I found in my silence, people all of a sudden became interested in my book. They were used to me talking about it and now I had nothing to say. I began to realize, they didn’t care about my actual book, they cared if I had achieved or failed. I remained silent. My achievement or failure was none of their business.

Continue reading Achieving Your Destiny – V

Achieving Your Destiny: Part I

Achieving Your Destiny: Part I
By: Mia L. Hazlett
1/19/15

I don’t call myself a religious person by any means.  Church isn’t really part of my family’s life.  I don’t worship God by any written rules.  I guess I don’t even consider myself spiritual, meaning other people have also defined what that is supposed to mean.  The way I describe myself, I’m a biblical Christian who has a relationship with God.  Meaning, I believe Jesus Christ died for my sins and rose on the third day, I believe in the bible, and I have my own relationship with God.

I make this clarification because I know only my closest friends that share this same belief system with me.  The only exception is they have found good church homes for their families.  For those I speak to outside of my realm of belief, I find hard to relate to.  These past few months have brought among tremendous change for me…all for the better.  But not only myself, but two of my closest friends.

Continue reading Achieving Your Destiny: Part I

Birds of a Feather…

By: Mia L. Hazlett
11/6/14

flock of migrating canada geese birdsThere’s this woman I know.  We’ve been through it all together.  I believe that is the reason God has not only put her in my life, but has kept her in my life for over 20 years.  We’ve walked in each other’s shoes.  Our lives are so similar, it’s scary.

Over the past two days our lives have been turned upside down.  Not because a mutual event has rocked us, but because somehow we are both dealing with circumstances beyond our control.

We are two amazing women who fell in love, got married and started families.  I’m not saying it was in that exact order, but you get the point.  Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, the love and marriage fell off, but our children remained.

We were suddenly thrust into the role of raising our children by ourselves.   Continue reading Birds of a Feather…

Build Your Village

By: Mia L. Hazlett

“I’m a strong independent black woman. I don’t need a man.” I spouted this ignorance to create a portrait of I’m not sure what, so many times. Not only am I unsure of my reasoning, but I honestly feel it was so others would think I had my shit together, when I didn’t. But I’ve come to discover, bravado is wonderful in the absence of humility.

I say this because it was a lie. At my weakest, I became dependent. I am not gay and want to be in a relationship, so therefore to do that I need a man. The funniest part about that saying, I’ve heard it said by tons of women, who are either in a relationship with a man or hunting for a man to be in a relationship with. Continue reading Build Your Village

Change with Patience

By: Mia L. Hazlett
5/22/14

slow downI don’t know about you, but for me, I can tell when change is coming.  I sense that change is coming in my life.  It’s not a change of ease, but one that will require discipline and focus.   I’ve learned in life, there are instant and gradual changes.  Easy change, I look at myself in the mirror and don’t like my clothes or hair, different outfit or new style.  Hard change, living a two-income lifestyle and suddenly adjusting to a one-income lifestyle with the same two-income lifestyle expenses.

The thing about change, many people categorize it as easy or hard.  I relate that to their level of patience.  It’s considered easy when you can just change your jeans or shoes and feel more comfortable. Instant.  But it’s much harder when you have to wait 2 years for the right job to come along.  Not so instant.

Continue reading Change with Patience