Let me start by saying I have total respect for the stay at home mom or dad. The one that works hard to make sure the house is always in good order, the kids are well nourished and the community is better off for having his or her time spent on them. Their family has sacrificed a paycheck and comforts to have him/her working for the family. Her presence is most likely saving money in daycare, gas and groceries.
I also have respect for the kept significant other. His/her spouse makes so much money there is no need for a second income. Good for you, you hit the jackpot, now keep the body tight and take care of that sugar momma right.
But what I keep running into and am having trouble respecting are the men and women who think they have the right to live the kept woman life without the kept woman work. Note I will be using gender interchangeably through this post, because everybody seems to be doing it.
Mr. A loves his wife, but some days it seems like she hates him. She is always so mad, and stressed. They started essentially in the same place because of a series of bad decisions on his part she is now the breadwinner of the house, and he is proud of her for it. He always tells people how great she is. He does his part; he takes out the garbage, gets the kids up in the morning, and he deposits his check into the account just like she does. It seems like she takes out cash whenever she wants, trips to the beach with the kids, ice cream on Sunday afternoons and it seems like she gets her hair done every few months. So he put money in, he should be able to take out whatever he wants to, right? It is our money right?
Ms. B Is tired of her man and father of her child. They have been together for years, he was married for 10-plus years, but that divorce has been final for a while. He is always upset with her for something. Either just because she didn’t cook or he doesn’t have any clean clothes. He is just getting too comfortable in this relationship and he shouldn’t expect she is just going to stay around and take this. He thinks just because he bought the house, and this little car that she doesn’t even really like she should just be happy. She is home almost all day with the kid, and only gets like one maybe two days off a week. It would be different if he would just marry her.
Mr. A and Ms. B Your relationships, your home should be a safe place for your family. Everyone who lives there should feel comfortable. Everyone in the house also has to do their part, so that the burden doesn’t rest on just one person. Relationships work best when they are 100/100 not 50/50. You both have to give 100% effort or someone is going to feel cheated. Perhaps that man won’t marry you, and that woman feels resentful because they don’t feel comfortable, safe or valued at home.
If one person is the money maker, then it’s fair that one is the home maker. If the financial is even then the household duties should be even. Keep in mind that the more money you make at work, usually the more stress and pressure you have at work. Companies compensate you for your talent and level of investment in the company.
If you keep shaking that little money tree it’s going to break, fall on you and crush you flat. You either need to figure out either how to support your tree with food water and sunlight, or grow right next to your tree so you can support each other.