Category Archives: maturity

Birds of a Feather…

By: Mia L. Hazlett
11/6/14

flock of migrating canada geese birdsThere’s this woman I know.  We’ve been through it all together.  I believe that is the reason God has not only put her in my life, but has kept her in my life for over 20 years.  We’ve walked in each other’s shoes.  Our lives are so similar, it’s scary.

Over the past two days our lives have been turned upside down.  Not because a mutual event has rocked us, but because somehow we are both dealing with circumstances beyond our control.

We are two amazing women who fell in love, got married and started families.  I’m not saying it was in that exact order, but you get the point.  Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, the love and marriage fell off, but our children remained.

We were suddenly thrust into the role of raising our children by ourselves.   Continue reading Birds of a Feather…

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Things to Do in the MEantime

By: Mia L. Hazlett

10/5/13

There is a MEantime that exist while I wait for The Next.  Life must continue and I’ve gotten to the point that I must continue to work on me and continue to become the woman I want to be when I grow up.  Deep down in my soul, I know I have not even reached a fraction of who God has created me to be.  I wake up at 4 before the sun rises.  In mere weeks, I will be coming home after the sun has come down.  I run myself frantic during the day getting my work done in a windowless 8×6 room for eight hours.

That’s not what my life has come down to.  It’s a wonderful job that has exposed me to wonderful people and a network worth knowing in life, but it’s not it for me.  My passion is writing.  That’s what I need to nurture.  That’s what is going to make me whole.  It won’t matter who The Next is, if I feel unfulfilled in this area of my life.  I’ve finally gotten to the point in my life where I know my happiness is my responsibility.  A man is not going to make me happy, writing, my God given gift, will.

That is not to say I am some lone warrior who wants to conquer the rest of my life alone.  But I’ve become  extremely selective about who gets to where The Next title.  Call me arrogant or hung up on myself, but I have expectations that I will not lower.  For instance, I grabbed a bite to eat the other night with a guy I used to see.  It wasn’t a date, it was meeting up after work.  Everything went well until  bill time came. I went to the bathroom and upon my return, the waitress was handing his card back saying there were insufficient funds.  I giggled to myself, because throughout my sporadic dating, I always ask God for a sign.  I didn’t even ask for a sign this time.

Throughout this dinner, this kind man had mentioned how he wanted to be in a serious relationship,  how that is what he was ready for in his life right now.  I thought that was a very bold statement.  Up until now, I had only heard how they weren’t ready for anything serious.  He did end up paying for the meal somehow, and we spent an awkward ten minutes at the table, he stating the reason for his finances and me wondering how I could be a single mother with two kids, have paid all my bills in the past week, and still have afforded this meal ten times over?

I didn’t hear from him for about four days and when he did send a text, he was asking when he could see me next.  I was honest and told him I doubt it would happen.  At this point in my life I needed someone who was financially stable and capable of taking me out for a quick bite to eat after work.  I told him that I come with kids, and one day we would all be out to eat.  He proceeded to call me a gold digger and tell me he wasn’t looking to support anyone and that he was not hurting for money by any means.  Okay.

I was hurt that he thought of me as a gold digger, so I went to a knowledgeable source of she who knows everything, my BFF.  She told me I should have responded “me too.”  She relayed that I knew the situation, no matter what he told me.  I would be in a situation of supporting this man who did not have his finances where mine were and I should not feel bad about it.  It was a short lived guilt.  I can’t waiver from my expectations.  I can’t fall short of who God wants me to become.  And if I’ve learned anything in life, lowered expectations are no longer an option.

To the Next

By: Mia Hazlett
4/11/13

Hello,

We have yet to meet.  God has been working on me, as well as on you.  Let me tell you, He had a lot of work to do.  He first had me deal with undesirable life circumstances.  It was the best thing He could have ever done both for me and for you.

You see, to deal with my marital separation, my transition from two-parent income to one, homelessness of over two years, unemployment for the same length, led me to define who I am today.  Not only do I know who I’ve become, but I’m secure in being this incredible woman.

So how does this benefit you as well?  I’ve dealt with my past and left it there.  You don’t have to compete with my past, because I’ve refused to allow it to become my present and have taken the lessons, to avoid it repeating itself in the future.

I’ve also waited for you.  I did not rush to find someone to fill a sudden void and dishonor my faith.   I waited patiently on God, and asked Him to craft you for me, for He knows me better than I know myself.  Not only does he know the desires of my heart, but he knows who is best for me.  He has restored my heart to love freely again, because there are no past burdens that I continue to carry.

I’m happy I waited for you.  You are an honest man of God, integrity, and value.  I have an unwavering faith that God made you for me and me for you.

With Love, Respect, and Appreciation,

Mia

With the Past Behind

By: Mia L. Hazlett
4/3/13

Let go. Let go. Let go. Let God. Let God. Let God.

You want to know who I am? I am the daughter of God, who was filled with a heart’s passion to write and be an exceptional mother. I am an educated professional who supports her family on a single income, but I am not a single mother. I am a dreamer to some, but not to myself. How is it a dream if I made it come true? https://www.createspace.com/3747445 Yes. I made my dream come true. I wanted to write and publish a book. I wrote and published a book.

My book came from letting go of my past. What you’ve just read about who I am, was not how I always felt about myself. I had to give up everything to be in my present mindset. I left a horrendous employer. I separated from my husband. I moved out of our apartment. In all of these endeavors of finality, I brought along with me my two daughters.

I realized my life had come down to keys and a title. I no longer had house keys. I no longer had keys to an office. Above all, I had turned in a job title and marital status. I was a grown woman with no job, no home of my own, and now checked separated, instead of married. I held the key to my car and the title of mother. I was at the point, where I had to let go of my past and have faith in my future. I had to let go and let God take control. I did.

Presently – there has been almost complete restoration. I’m living in a beautiful new home. I have a wonderful job. I bought a new car. So yeah, you figured it out, I’ve remained single throughout this all. I’ve dated, but my heart and mind are not ready.

As I finally come up on my divorce, I realize I had to let go of my past relationships, so that God may bring new in this area of my life. I’ve had to say good-bye to the bad and the good. I’ve learned many things about myself from all of them, but to move on, I’ve had to close the door. That’s right, I’m finally at a point in my life, where I close the door, instead of letting God do it for me. I am so thankful that I let go and let God.

To The Gentleman

By: Mia L. Hazlett
3/21/13

Dear Gentleman,

Our time existed when love carried no baggage. It carried no regrets. It carried no past. It carried no drama. It simply existed.

You were a gentleman at the young age of 15 and I didn’t even know it. It’s my innocence lost, which sends me back to the time long before my heart wore scars. It was a time when my heart had no limits. You see we had a friendship in the midst of our relationship. Like existed over love.

It was a time when sitting on the couch in your parent’s house was the best Friday night. It was a time when holding hands defined that a relationship existed. It was a time when certain acts were equated to baseball. It was our time of innocence.

From time to time, you would come to mind. Drift into my thoughts as Facebook came about. With your name so common, it was an impossible search, or maybe you never had an account. I found those who I thought would have kept in contact with you, but never asked about you. I sat one day scrolling through the impersonal technology, and saw your true friend/brother from another mother, missing you.

I thought you must have moved out of state. I hunted for the details only to find, you were gone. God brought you home to be with Him. So it is with this letter that I say good-bye, but most of all thank you. Thank you for being kind. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for having character. Thank you for embracing integrity. Thank you for my innocence. Thank you for the life-long lesson of like over love. Most of all, from the bottom of my heart; thank you for being a gentleman.

With sincere gratitude,

Mia

To My Exes

By: Mia L. Hazlett
3/19/13

Hello My Exes:

It took many relationships, two marriages, and almost 40 years to design this extraordinary virtuous woman. I must thank all of you. Although I could never see past my pain so long ago and not so long ago, God sent each of you in my life and took you all away, to design me to become who I am today.

My entire existence within my relationships existed to find what I wanted, rather than leaving what I didn’t like. I held within me the hope to change that which I found imperfect. I know now it had nothing to do with your inability to make me happy, but my lack of being good enough for myself. I spent so much time comparing myself to all the women that slipped in and out of the relationships that eluded the single trait of faithfulness, rather than walking away and coming to the resolution you weren’t good enough for me.

Being Christian came late in the game, but I was raised by two people that taught me right from wrong and how to treat people respectfully. Finally I’m at the point in my life where I realize, if it looks like shit, smells like shit, it’s probably full of shit too. There’s something attached to this little realization also, it will probably treat you like shit too.

You see when you lie to obtain what you want, that’s not treating someone with respect or walking with integrity. It’s being manipulative and conniving and it plays with people’s feelings and emotions. In other words, you are treating them like shit.

Where I must accept blame, is sticking around and accepting the shit. What the hell did I think I could change by staying? Why did I have so much faith in shit relationships? Because I had to become an expert at recognizing bullshitters. I have two little girls to raise and I’m happy to say, I can smell bullshit from a mile away.

This isn’t a bashing, but a thank you. I’m happy about everything I’ve experienced. Although the relationships ended, I’m a better person because all of you have been in my life. You all changed me in a way that my expectations will never be in danger of being compromised again. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Mia

I Think: Honesty

By: Mia L. Hazlett
2/5/13

How do you get through it…divorce that is? Honesty. You have to be honest with yourself and the role you played in the demise of the happiness that once existed between you and your spouse. The most honest thing I can say about my marriage as a Christian, it was not God’s plan, it was mine. All mine. I wanted to get married because I was pregnant. All three of us were going to have the same last name. It’s as simple as that. I got married for a last name, which is now, not the last name I use.

It wasn’t just some magical idea that popped in my head when I found out I was pregnant. This was the way I was raised; you marry the father of your children. It wasn’t even something I gave a second thought. However, I hold myself completely responsible for not investigating if he was raised with the same values. It was unprotected sex, prior to truly getting to know the important details about this person.

Therefore, we got married and had another daughter. That’s when my reality began to sink in that we were incompatible. Unfortunately, when you’re stubborn and bullheaded, it’s not your fault, it’s theirs. I patted myself on the back for being flawless, all the while waiting for him to change so he could be perfect like me. Unbelievably, it never happened. Somehow, my perfection wasn’t contagious, and I was falling out of love and no longer liked this imperfect stranger in my house.

At this point, close to four years separated, I accept that person for who he is. I’ve learned that God doesn’t make mistakes, humans do. Who he is, is who he is. Who I am, is who I am. He didn’t need to change to make me happy. I didn’t need to change to make him happy. We needed to stay true and honest to who we were. I chose to follow my heart and my plan to make things happily ever after…well that didn’t work so much. But as for staying with the honesty thing, we sure did make two beautiful daughters.