Category Archives: faith

Achieving Your Destiny – Part IV

Achieving Your Destiny- Part IV
By: Mia L. Hazlett
2/18/15

Step III – Baby Steps

One of my big mistakes in pursuing my dream of becoming a best-selling author, was making Step 1- Write a Book. That’s HUGE. I struggled for months with the feeling that I wasn’t moving ahead. I was moving ahead because I was writing, but when I couldn’t write for whatever reason, I felt like I was failing.

Writing a book is immeasurable until you actually hold the physical book. That could take months, or in my case years.
1. Cut your plan into daily steps.
2. Get out a calendar. Not an electronic calendar, an actually calendar you can physically write on with a pen.
3. Hang this calendar in a place where you will see it every day.

Continue reading Achieving Your Destiny – Part IV

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6 Steps to Embracing The Blessing

imageYou’ve had a hope or a prayer in your heart for years. Then one day, that still small voice inside begins to whisper. “Hey, remember that thing you wanted, well here it is”.

Are you brave enough to step in and accept the desires of your heart?

Yeah, at first I was a little hesitant too. From the time I heard the whisper until the day I decided to jump took me about three weeks. I did it the hard way. But lucky for you I remember what steps I took on the way there. There were about six.

I stumbled through every single one of them. But that doesn’t matter, because I am here now; excited and getting prepared as quickly as I can for the changes that I can see heading my way.

1. Listen to the voices

I spent weeks denying what was right in front of me. People asked, and I said “No, that’s not going to happen.” Straight away. After a few weeks of going to church and getting talked about by the pastor, I changed my tune. I realized that our destination is dependent ability to listen to our instincts. Being obedient to that small voice inside of you that tells you to take a right when everyone else is going left is what is going to get you to your destination .

Continue reading 6 Steps to Embracing The Blessing

Happiness Is The Truth

coloringkid

I am totally overwhelmed.

My house looks like what I image it must look like when a hoarder gets started. I have more than my share of envelopes in the bill box. I think everything is paid, because none of them are pink or some other “warning” color.  The girls both look like they could use a good afternoon of brushing and greasing.

I am not 100% okay with the current state of things but I am living where I’m at. The pantry is full of healthy food and I am cooking most nights. I am getting plenty of sleep, and even squeezing in a little exercise.

I feel like I am doing okay, and getting better every day.

You see, right before thanksgiving my “false sense of safety” net was yanked out, and took my cash cushion with him.

I was SUPER bitter and angry up until December 26th.

Continue reading Happiness Is The Truth

Done With the Jesus Thing

Enjoy hell

By: Mia L. Hazlett

That’s right, I’m done with the Jesus thing.  I haven’t done a very good job with it, so I’m through with thinking I can change all things and have complete control of everything and anyone that comes into my life, so I’m not going to waste any of my time or energy trying to change the impossible.

I would love to turn water into wine.  It hasn’t happened.  I just look crazy and end up disappointed.  Apparently, I have not been blessed with that special ability. In accepting that I will have to pay for wine, I’ve also accepted I can’t change people, only myself.  I spoke the other night to one of my BFF’s friends.  He was having relationship issues, so he unloaded his problem and sought advice to his situation.  He is a preacher who puts God first always.  Over the past six months, Sunday was the day he and his girlfriend shared to worship God together.  She considered it their day.  He considered it a day he spent at church worshiping God.  This particular Sunday, he decided to bring in a friend who was in need of a church home.  He had spoken to him over the past few weeks and his friend was on the verge of suicide.  He informed his girlfriend his friend was joining them and she was upset that he invited someone to church without informing her first.

It seemed odd to me this woman who knew she was dating a preacher, was somehow upset he would bring someone in need of a church home to church.  He added a few other things he thought had changed about her over their relationship for the better, but was hoping she would continue to change in his favor.

The thing is, there are core behaviors in people, which form their character.  When we get to thinking we can change these behaviors and attempt to form them to the mold of the person we want them to be, we are trying to play God.  We put so much effort into changing that person, just so we won’t be alone, that in the months or maybe even years we put into changing the wrong person for us, we could have found the right one.

Know who you are and who you want in your life and you will attract them.  If the wrong person comes first, know they are just that, the wrong person. Don’t waste your time or theirs trying to change them.  If you want wine, seek wine.  Don’t try to be Jesus and take some water and perform a miracle.  It’s not going to happen.

Things to Do in the MEantime

By: Mia L. Hazlett

10/5/13

There is a MEantime that exist while I wait for The Next.  Life must continue and I’ve gotten to the point that I must continue to work on me and continue to become the woman I want to be when I grow up.  Deep down in my soul, I know I have not even reached a fraction of who God has created me to be.  I wake up at 4 before the sun rises.  In mere weeks, I will be coming home after the sun has come down.  I run myself frantic during the day getting my work done in a windowless 8×6 room for eight hours.

That’s not what my life has come down to.  It’s a wonderful job that has exposed me to wonderful people and a network worth knowing in life, but it’s not it for me.  My passion is writing.  That’s what I need to nurture.  That’s what is going to make me whole.  It won’t matter who The Next is, if I feel unfulfilled in this area of my life.  I’ve finally gotten to the point in my life where I know my happiness is my responsibility.  A man is not going to make me happy, writing, my God given gift, will.

That is not to say I am some lone warrior who wants to conquer the rest of my life alone.  But I’ve become  extremely selective about who gets to where The Next title.  Call me arrogant or hung up on myself, but I have expectations that I will not lower.  For instance, I grabbed a bite to eat the other night with a guy I used to see.  It wasn’t a date, it was meeting up after work.  Everything went well until  bill time came. I went to the bathroom and upon my return, the waitress was handing his card back saying there were insufficient funds.  I giggled to myself, because throughout my sporadic dating, I always ask God for a sign.  I didn’t even ask for a sign this time.

Throughout this dinner, this kind man had mentioned how he wanted to be in a serious relationship,  how that is what he was ready for in his life right now.  I thought that was a very bold statement.  Up until now, I had only heard how they weren’t ready for anything serious.  He did end up paying for the meal somehow, and we spent an awkward ten minutes at the table, he stating the reason for his finances and me wondering how I could be a single mother with two kids, have paid all my bills in the past week, and still have afforded this meal ten times over?

I didn’t hear from him for about four days and when he did send a text, he was asking when he could see me next.  I was honest and told him I doubt it would happen.  At this point in my life I needed someone who was financially stable and capable of taking me out for a quick bite to eat after work.  I told him that I come with kids, and one day we would all be out to eat.  He proceeded to call me a gold digger and tell me he wasn’t looking to support anyone and that he was not hurting for money by any means.  Okay.

I was hurt that he thought of me as a gold digger, so I went to a knowledgeable source of she who knows everything, my BFF.  She told me I should have responded “me too.”  She relayed that I knew the situation, no matter what he told me.  I would be in a situation of supporting this man who did not have his finances where mine were and I should not feel bad about it.  It was a short lived guilt.  I can’t waiver from my expectations.  I can’t fall short of who God wants me to become.  And if I’ve learned anything in life, lowered expectations are no longer an option.

To the Next

By: Mia Hazlett
4/11/13

Hello,

We have yet to meet.  God has been working on me, as well as on you.  Let me tell you, He had a lot of work to do.  He first had me deal with undesirable life circumstances.  It was the best thing He could have ever done both for me and for you.

You see, to deal with my marital separation, my transition from two-parent income to one, homelessness of over two years, unemployment for the same length, led me to define who I am today.  Not only do I know who I’ve become, but I’m secure in being this incredible woman.

So how does this benefit you as well?  I’ve dealt with my past and left it there.  You don’t have to compete with my past, because I’ve refused to allow it to become my present and have taken the lessons, to avoid it repeating itself in the future.

I’ve also waited for you.  I did not rush to find someone to fill a sudden void and dishonor my faith.   I waited patiently on God, and asked Him to craft you for me, for He knows me better than I know myself.  Not only does he know the desires of my heart, but he knows who is best for me.  He has restored my heart to love freely again, because there are no past burdens that I continue to carry.

I’m happy I waited for you.  You are an honest man of God, integrity, and value.  I have an unwavering faith that God made you for me and me for you.

With Love, Respect, and Appreciation,

Mia

What I Know About: Boasting In My Weakness

About a week ago my daughter showed me this beautiful video by a college student, Jefferson Bethke performing a spoken word piece about religion. So many things about this video stood out to me but one line stood out so clearly, it’s the one I quoted when I shared it with my friends on Facebook.

He says “I spent my whole life building this façade of neatness, but now that I know Jesus I boast in my weakness”.

I recently had lunch with a friend who I thought I was just meeting  to talk about work type stuff. That discussion quickly went by the wayside when she decided to trust me enough to tell me about some difficult times she was having. One thing that stood out to me is that she had not told many people.

I knew exactly why.
As women, especially black, professional women, so much is expected of us. If we don’t appear to have it all together at all times, we are always afraid we will be immediately dropped into the stereotypical troubled black girl bucket.
We feel like we have to be relatable to our non-minority counterparts (like they don’t go through hard times). It’s an unwritten understanding that we have to be twice as good as our peers to earn equal credibility, thus, leave no flaws visible.
The other thing that happens among us is that we “hate” on each other. When we get a win; get a great job, find a good guy we are happy for our friend (sort of). But when we find ourselves in over our head in that new job, or that guys turns out to have a wandering eye, SOME of our friends are the last ones we want to turn to.
So we hide our weaknesses, and pains, sometimes to the point where we endure pain, abuse and worse in silence.

Momma said keep family business in the house, right?
I am as guilty of this as anyone, but little by little I am starting to open up. But to Mr. Bethke’s point our trials are our testimony.

I don’t have a ton of money, or lots of free time, but I do have my story. I have been through so many things, and with faith, patience, prayer and support I have come further that I knew I could, and I know I have more to accomplish. If five years ago when I felt like my life had reached a new low, someone would have told me “I’ve been there, hold on, it will get better” that would have changes so many things for me. I might have even gotten to this point faster than I did (I spent a considerable amount of time wallowing in my sorrow).

So if you’re reading this today, and you are going through something difficult, listen, I know it’s hard but if you push through it, there is something good for you on the other side.

Sometimes it’s hard to keep the future beyond the struggle at top of mind when you are going through something bad.  I need reminders, for EVERYTHING. Write it down, big, and put it on your mirror. I know one woman who had it  taped her steering wheel. It helps to keep reading it even if you’re not feeling it. Read it out loud, generally what you speak becomes your truth.

Finally know, you are not alone.
Others are standing where you have stood. If your friends don’t understand, or they are haters, find some people that do understand. I never ask parenting advice from non-parents, or people whose kids are terrible. Reach out to people who you think might k now what you are talking about and might be able to help. F what your mama said and speak your truth. It makes your human, and just might get you what you need to get through this thing.

If you can’t find anyone, come find me. My friends and I have unfortunately been through some pretty rough times, and we are all still standing strong, and being blessed every day. We’ve been broken too many times to judge you on your broken-ness.

And when you get through it, and I am sure you will boast in your weakness, and be there to hold the next woman up.