Mia L. Hazlett
Success requires an accountability manager. Who are they? They are the person who will hold you accountable for doing what you say you are going to do. I understand Part V was about silence, but believe it or not, you can be your worst obstacle. Sometimes you are okay with failing yourself. Your accountability manager will not allow failure to be an option.
Who is my accountability manager? My BFF. Is it because she’s my BFF? Not at all. She possesses the characteristics accountability managers require.
1. Set and achieved personal and professional goals.
2. Does not sugarcoat criticism.
3. Has failed and overcome obstacles, both personally and professionally.
4. Can encourage you, based on experience.
5. Has celebrated your past accomplishments.
All of these characteristics are essential if your accountability manager is going to be effective.
1. Why would you take advice from someone with no goals, or if they have them, has never achieved them? My BFF can relate to me when I get impatient. Yup, waiting for things to pass is my downfall. But my BFF is able to say, “Remember when I said I wanted to move, it’s taken a year for the full cycle to happen. Be patient.” She had a relevant story she could refer to, when I was looking for the immediate gratification.
2. My BFF is organic with honesty. I don’t know why. She knows I enjoy processed artificially flavored treats, but it doesn’t stop her. You need someone who is going to tell you the truth, your feelings aside. They are not there to crush your dreams. They are there to make sure you are doing what you said you would do. “So what you’re saying is you want to write books that people will read, but you aren’t reading anything right now? Interesting.” Quite the jerk, but I heard salad is better than Pop Tarts.
3. They won’t join your pity party when you fail or come short of your desired results. When someone has failed, they are able to relate to how you’re feeling, but they can also show you how to get back on your feet. “So you really think it’s all over for you? You’re never going to find a job. This is it? You’re not the only unemployed person. But, I’ve never heard of someone getting a job from pouting. I’ve heard of someone not getting a job for pouting.” Completely organic, but spoken from someone who had moved from one city to another and experienced unemployment for some time. Empathy, not sympathy.
4. Have you ever talked to someone who has never “walked in your shoes”? They’re annoying as all hell. They become your cheerleaders when they don’t know why they are cheering. So when you hit a little bump on your way up, they can sympathize with you, but they can’t offer the advice of how to overcome the obstacle. They tend to encourage quitting. But if they have been “in your shoes” before, from the get-go, they can tell you it’s not going to be easy, some of the pitfalls they faced, and how to overcome them. “Being a single mother isn’t going to be easy, but you can do it. Cry when you need to cry, but remember not to be too hard on yourself. Kids don’t come with directions.”
5. HATERS! We all have them. Your accountability manager has to want you to achieve your dream as badly as you want to achieve it. The true measure if they genuinely want you to win, is when your winning will not benefit them in the least. “If you’re not going to say you’re a writer, I will.” That mean jerk was claiming my dreams for me.
You can try to make it by yourself, but with an accountability manager, you will have someone at the finish line to do some good yelling, screaming, and celebrating!
© 2016 Mia L. Hazlett