“I really can’t remember. It was truly a blur. It is more of a reflective total, than it is remembering an exact feeling or moment.” That is pretty much my answer when people ask, “what was the first week like when you was separated from your husband?” You see we separated after living together for eight years. In that eight years, routine had been established for my household.
When life throws you a curve ball, routine still takes place. The kids still needed to go to daycare. I had to call into work and handle the unexpected. Procrastination had my house void of food, so grocery shopping definitely had to take place. That was just the beginning of the day. The evening routine rolled around and I had to pick the kids up from daycare. There was dinner, bath time, story time, and then bedtime. Finally, when I had put the kids to bed, I took some “process” time. All that meant is I cried myself to sleep.
Day 2 rolled around and the same routine less the groceries. But on this day, there was a new twist. I had to tell my daughters that their father was no longer going to live with us. This was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to relay to them in my life. Still nothing has topped that moment of failure. But I knew it was not my moment to have, so I resolved to shove all my emotions to the back burner until I got us through what we needed to get through. So if there was a moment in that week, that was it.
By day three, I was a computerized robot, back on schedule. Wake- up, kids to daycare, work, kids from daycare, home, dinner, bath time, story time, bedtime, talk with BFF. I’m pretty sure that’s how it all went. I don’t ever remember having time to stop and reflect about what my life was becoming or what I was going to do. I just did.
*Please follow this series of Building The Village. I will be hosting a video panel of both women and men over the next few months, where we will be discussing how people built their villages (support systems) after separation/divorce. Our first one will be this Friday at 8pm EST. More details will follow this week.*
Copyright © 2014 Mia L. Hazlett