Have you seen that Teen Mom show? I watch it with my 17 year old daughter all the time. Yeah I watch with her so we can talk about the dangers of teen sex. But also watch because I can relate to those girls and what they’re going through. While I wasn’t exactly a teen mom, I was pretty young when I found myself pregnant with my oldest child.
I dealt with some of the things those girls go through, like;
- Going to class pregnant
- My parents not talking to me
- Dirty looks in the mall with the stroller
- Being pressured to marry a boy who was not ready to be married
- WIC and health care provided by the state
- Child support and visitation hearings
If you met me today, you would never know that I know that I had been through all of that and more. Today I have a great job, a nice home and an amazing daughter who is getting ready to go off to college, and if you make good decisions you will too.
Young moms, when you look down in that stroller at this new person that you’re now responsible for, squint your eyes a little and try to look past your current situation. One day, not too long from now, that little baby will be a teenager. From this point on it’s on you to steer them from where they are now to the point where they are ready to manage life on their own.
How are you going to do this?
First, know that there is no such thing as being a perfect parent. If you are trying to be perfect you’re going to drive you child away and yourself crazy. Also, you know a great deal more than you think you do about raising a child. Look back at what your parents did well, and what they didn’t do so well and start from there.
Decide now what you want for your child and her future. If its college then read to her every night and stay up on her grades, make sure you get her to the best schools you can find and help her to figure out what she loves and might want to do for a living.
If that’s not so important to you, just focus on keeping those lines of communication open, and try to be the best role model you can. They may rarely do what you say, but they almost always do what you do. If you don’t want them to be a teen mom, be as honest with them as you can about how you got there, and what you might have done differently.
Discipline her when she’s wrong, and cheer her on when she does something great. Most important, love her every day, no matter what she does (or doesn’t do), and make sure she knows it.
I know that this is not how you thought it was going to turn out, but you have to remember this is just the beginning and 17 years moves by faster than you think. Yes your life is a little more challenging than what your non parent peers are experiencing, but this will make so strong, and give you skills that will serve you all your life.
You can do this.
Start dreaming for your baby’s future now, and begin moving your life and plans in that direction. But don’t forget your dreams, you have keep them and keep working towards them. Ironically, the realization of your dreams will be what makes you able to secure your baby’s future. Also, there is a little pair of eyes watching you and deciding how she will live her life and raise her children based on what you do.
No pressure.
Recent Comments